Well it's out. The secret is out.
We'd all been together all day at church and my Mom's house. We were sitting looking at a Oriental Trader magazine planning a zoo party and tropical party for the summer. I saw an inflatable globe and told my Mom that I wanted it. Mari, my daughter, said, "Yea, that would be great for homeschool." I took a deep breath and simply said, "Um hmmm." I braced myself as I turned the page. I was looking at something else thinking, "okay she didn't notice" and Mari says, "Oh, look at that. We could use that for homeschool too!" At this point I am internally screaming " SHUT UUUUUUUUUP!!! Why must you continue to talk?!". Again I simply respond and keep going. Well, as we were leaving my Mom, in her true form, said," Oh, don't think that homeschool comment went over my head." I just responded by saying "okay" and went and got in the truck.
I couldn't be mad because I asked God to give me a way to tell my mom. I even had "the feeling" that week and knew that I was supposed to tell her and I just ignored it, so this is pretty much what I get. At first I planned to practice displacement and blame Mari and fuss at her because I wimped out on saying something to Mom. That didn't happen because I handle the whole thing like a kid from the beginning and this was simply the expected outcome. It was interesting to see the dynamic of 3 generations interacting.Mom still hasn't said anything. I don't know if I should say something first or just await my fate.
She is going to disagree--that much is sure.
I Feel Guilty
3 months ago